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Dear Hillary

June 19, 2009

Dear Hillary,

China has never, ever held an election. When you visited the Chinese government in February 2009, you told them that human rights issues should never interfere with economic priorities. Then you used a Chinese proverb that people in the same ‘boat’ should ‘keep the peace on the crossing.’

There is a Persian proverb that says, ‘The chicken who eats figs has a crooked beak’ (مرغی كه انجير ميخوره نكش كجه). I am not sure what that has to do with the current situation, but either you or the State Dept. might soon Twitter it to the Iranian nation, or ‘Tweeter’ it as CNN calls it. Besides, Iranians love it when American heads of state (or George Clooney) attempt to speak Persian.

Also, just four days before the election you warned Iran that the U.S. would not rule out a preemptive Israeli military strike. Actually you warned that it would go down ‘the way that we did attack Iraq.’ And you reasoned that if Iran did not halt its ‘nuclear weapons’ that it should fear ‘a battery of nuclear countries.’ Which sounded a little bit like the UCLA police department when it told that Iranian student to lower his ID card or get tasered.  

Lastly, a few days ago at a press conference you said the U.S. would wait until it formulated a response to the Iran election. But Hillary: it was really hard to take you seriously. You were standing in front of an American and Israeli flag when you said it.

Sincerely.

P.S. You look as disappointed as this guy that Obama hasn’t announced a plan to bomb-bomb-Iran yet.

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